


The Quiet Is Worst Of All

by thatonedudewiththename



Series: What Doesn't Kill Me [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff, Cutting, Depression, Gen, Guilt, attempted suicide, deaf!donnie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-01 23:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2792075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonedudewiththename/pseuds/thatonedudewiththename
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A pair of Donatello's prototype earpieces blow out in an accident and, as a result, he slowly loses his hearing over the course of the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Quiet Is Worst Of All

"Hey Don! Watcha workin' on?!" Mikey shouted at his brother over the noise of his headphones.  
"Mikey, you're gonna go deaf if you don't turn that down," Donnie said, not taking his eyes off of the small earpiece he was sautering.  
"What?" Mikey yelled as he removed one headphone from his ear.  
Don rolled his eyes, finishing sautering before putting the tiny earpiece back together and clicking the case shut, comparing it to the other in his right hand. "I think these are done."  
Leaning over his right shoulder, Mikey turned off his iPod and set it and his headphones aside, admiring his brother's handiwork. "What are those?"  
"I've already told you."  
"Well, tell me again."  
Donnie sighed. "They're earpieces for April and Casey. Modified, obviously. I just need to test them out." He connected the earpieces to their individual headset and put them on, plugging the wires into the straps that held the mics on his wrists and then turning them on.  
"Ooooh! Can I help?!" Mikey asked, fiddling with the controls on the wrist straps.  
"Mikey, don't hold the mics so close togeth-!"  
The warning came too late; coupled with the high volume that Mikey had set the earpieces at and the closeness of the mics, a piercing, deafening noise blew out the speakers of the earpieces, the pieces themselves, and Donnie's eardrums, some small bits of wire and plastic lodging themselves deep in his ear canal- not that Donnie knew that, of course. "Shit!" Donatello ripped the headsets off, rubbing his ringing and pained ears. "Mikey!" He growled, staring death rays at his brother.  
The uninjured brother was wide-eyed and had his hands out to touch Don. "A-are you ok? I'm sorry!"  
Eyebrows deeply furrowed and the side of his upper lip pulled up slightly into a sneer, Don _shoved_ Michelangelo away from his work desk so hard the lighter-skinned turtle fell hard onto his shell. "WHY do you have to break EVERYTHING you touch?! I didn't ASK for you to help me! Why can't you just LEAVE me alone for TWO SECONDS?! DO you KNOW how long it took me to create, FROM SCRATCH, and modify those earpieces?! DO YOU?!" Donnie was towering over the fallen turtle, chest heaving and hands balled into fists. "NOW I HAVE TO START OVER!!" He swiped everything off of his work desk and onto the floor with a mighty crash.  
Mikey was shaking where he lay on the ground, looking up at his brother with tears in his eyes. "D-Don-"  
The engineer raised a fist. "GO AWAY, MICHELANGELO! JUST GO!!"  
At that, Mikey scrambled backwards before standing and running off in shock and fear, his sobs echoing throughout the empty lair as he went. From where he stood behind his desk, Donatello rubbed his hands over his face, wincing at the continued pain in his ears.

When Master Splinter rounded the corner of the sewer tunnel that led to his home, he found his son Michelangelo curled up in a ball shivering and crying, with Clunk sitting beside him purring and rubbing his head against Mikey's hip. Immediately, Master Splinter sped up his pace until he was standing to the right of his child. "Michelangelo, what has happened, my son?" He questioned softly.  
Slowly, Mikey lifted his head, sniffing. "I broke Donnie's ear thingies and he yelled at me... h-he pushed me really hard, a-and-" He didn't get to finish, for he started crying again.  
Master Splinter frowned deeply; that didn't sound like the genius son he knew. Setting his other son's actions aside for now, he knelt down and began to soothe Mikey by rubbing his shell gently and speaking to him in quiet tones. "I am sure Donatello did not mean what he said, my son. I will speak with him later, but for now, you must apologize for breaking his work." He lifted Mikey's head via a knuckle under his chin. "Do you understand me, Michelangelo?"  
Mikey sniffed and nodded. "Yes, Sensei."  
Master Splinter smiled his small smile and stood up, pulling his son with him easily. 

In the lair, Donnie was trying to look into his ears to find what was making them hurt so bad; he'd cleaned out most of the blood, but he couldn't find anything that accounted for it. Unbeknownst to him, his digging around had pushed the bits of wire and plastic deeper into his ear canal, causing them to further tear up the delicate inner workings of ears, only increasing the pain. "What the hell is wrong with them?" He thought aloud, frowning at how strange his own voice sounded in his head and at the pain it caused when he talked.  
"Donatello,"  
The distant voice of his sensei caused Donnie to turn around and look to his father. "Yes, Ma- oh." Upon seeing Mikey, he lowered his head, knowing what came next.  
"It has come to my attention that Michelangelo broke something that you were working on," Splinter began.  
"Yes, Master, that's correct." Donnie replied.  
"Michelangelo," Master Splinter now turned to the orange-masked one. "Do you have something you would like to say to your brother?"  
"I'm sorry for breaking your ear thingies, Donnie. I shoulda waited until you told me I could help." Mikey apologized, looking Don in the eye as much as he could.  
"No, no, i-it's my fault, I shouldn't've yelled at you like that, it was wrong of me." Don shook his head.  
Master Splinter seemed to ignore this rebuttal. "Do you accept your brother's apology, Donatello?"  
Donnie sighed inaudibly. "Yes, I do, Sensei."  
"Good. Now, my son, come with me." Master Splinter waved for the engineering turtle to follow him, leaving Mikey's side to make his way to his room. Behind him, Donatello shuffled awkwardly, sending a glance of apology and guilt Mikey's way before he disappeared into his father's room.

Inside, Master Splinter sat on his knees at the table on the floor, motioning for Donnie to follow suit- which he did, fiddling with his hands in his lap. "Sensei, I-"  
"Shh, be quiet now, my son." Splinter poured hot tea (he had had it prepared for when he returned from his walk) into both teacups in front of him; from the scent, it was lavender and honey, a stress-relieving mixture. He handed Don a cup, then, taking up his own and blowing on it gently, closed his eyes and took a sip, breathing slowly afterwards in a meditative way. Donnie did the same, finding himself to be calmed considerably. "Now, Donatello," Master Splinter set his cup down on the bamboo coaster, "have you been sleeping well?"  
The inevitable question; Don shook his head. "No, I haven't. I've been way too busy working on those earpieces-"  
"That does not mean that you must forego rest to work; a tired mind helps no one, my son."  
As per usual, his father was right. Sighing, Donnie drank more of his tea, feeling the warmth travel down to his stomach, allowing the calming ripples to wash over his body and mind, though the pain in his ears was still agonizing, causing him to wince and rub them. "... I promise I'll get some sleep, Sensei."  
Master Splinter gave a singular nod. "Good." At Donatello's persistent rubbing, he asked a question that Don couldn't really hear.  
The turtle humanoid frowned. "What'd you say, Master Splinter?"  
"I asked what troubles you."  
"Oh. It's just some pain in my ears," Don lowered his hands. "It'll go away eventually."  
Master Splinter didn't seem convinced. "Come here-" The rest was lost in mumbling.  
"Pardon?"  
"Come closer, Donatello."  
Donnie moved around to his sensei's side of the table, allowing his father to shine a light into his ears. Splinter hemmed. "I do not see any obstructions..."  
"You didn't what?"  
An air of worry flowed out of Master Splinter; he said something, but there was no reaction from the turtle, just him sitting and waiting for his master to reply. "Sensei?"  
"Your ears appear normal, I see no obstructions."  
"Oh, good." Donnie turned to Splinter. "Is that all you wanted to speak with me about, Master Splinter?"  
"Yes, but one more thing; do not forget to apologize to Michelangelo. He is still very hurt from your actions towards him."  
"Of course, Sensei."  
Donnie stood up once Master Splinter did and bowed, Splinter doing likewise. After that, he left the room.

Where Donatello found Mikey was on the sofa in front of the entertainment center, drawing slowly in his sketchbook, Clunk curled up around the back of his neck snoozing. Stopping beside the sofa, Donnie opened his mouth to speak. "Mikey,"  
Mikey jumped, causing Clunk to dig his nails into the skin of his owner's neck and shoulders to avoid being thrown off. Moving much slower, the mutant turtle turned to face his brother. "Donnie! You-" The rest of what he said, Donnie couldn't make out.  
"What?" Don said.  
"You don't have to yell," Mikey told him.  
"I'm not yelling."  
Mikey frowned and began to mumble.  
"I beg your pardon?"  
"Did you need something?" Mikey spoke slowly and carefully, as though speaking to an old person with bad hearing.  
"Oh. Yes, I uh, wanted to apologize for... for earlier. I shouldn't have gotten so angry, or pushed you. I'm sorry."  
Silence fell between them; or at least Donnie thought so. "Did ya hear me, bro?"  
"Pardon?"  
"I said I was sorry, too, for, y'know, touching your stuff without asking."  
"It's fine, Mikey, I can always make new earpieces."  
Donatello turned to leave for his bedroom and get some sleep, but then someone touched his arm, turning him around. "Wait," Mikey shoved a piece of paper into Don's chest, "I made this for you."  
"Oh," Donnie took it and looked it over:  
It was a drawing, obviously crudely rendered due to Michelangelo's lack of skill (unlike his namesake), but still, two figures clearly meant to be the artist and Donnie were distinguishable. They were holding hands, a pink heart between their heads, with Don's workstation in the background. Entirely done in colored pencil, it was signed in orange katakana in the bottom right corner- Mikey's name, clearly. Don smiled and petted his brother's head, saying, "I'll hang it on my wall."  
Positively beaming, Mikey bounced up and down. "You really like it?!"  
"Yes, I do."  
"Awesome!"  
Don let out an airy laugh, rubbing his ringing ears. "Ok, I'm going to bed."  
"Ok! Sleep well! I'll tell everyone not to bother you!"  
"Thanks, Mikey."

...

Intense ringing in his head woke Donatello from his peaceful sleep. Sitting up, he covered his ears and groaned. 'What is that?' He thought, shaking his head to see if it would go away; however, that only made the ringing and the stabbing pain intensify. He tried to shout for help, but he couldn't hear himself over the _ringing;_ it was driving him nuts!  
Leonardo came into his room, expression concerned and mouth moving, but he couldn't hear a word he said. "I can't hear you, it's too loud!" Donnie tried to shout, still unable to make out his own voice.  
Leo seemed to ask something, his brows furrowing, so Don just said, "It's my ears, they're ringing."  
His brother took him by the arm and led him out to his workstation, taking out his shell cell and calling someone. From their rooms, the rest of Don's family (Raph using his bat staff) came to see what the commotion was, not that he could hear any commotion; just the persistent, endless ringing. He saw mouths moving, but no sound; distressed expressions, but no distressed voices. Some of those non-vocal mouths spoke to him, but he just shrugged and said in words he couldn't hear, "I don't know what you're saying."  
After some more inaudible back-and-forth, April showed up with a pencil and notepad, walking up to Donnie with a smile that seemed strained. She wrote on the notepad, and then handed it to her turtle friend. "what's wrong?" It read.  
Don made the hand motion for "gimme", and was handed the pencil. "can't hear. the ringing in my ears is too loud." He wrote before giving the small notepad and pencil back to April, her brows furrowing as she read what was there. Quickly, she scribbled something down and showed it Don. "ringing? what do you mean? "  
"there was an accident earlier with some earpieces. I thought the pain would go away but I guess not."  
Now April appeared legitimately worried. "accident??" The word was circled twice.  
"mikey can tell you."  
April left the pad and pencil with Donatello and turned around, stepping back a little as the three brothers of Don were all crowded around her. After pushing them back, she placed her hands on her hips and pivoted to face Michelangelo, who had a permanent distressed expression etched into his features and hands that wouldn't stop moving. An exchange of words took place between the two; it wasn't long before Mikey was crying, covering his face with his hands and falling to his knees on the floor. Distantly, Don thought he heard him yelling, "I'm sorry!"  
Turning back towards Donnie, April took the stationary and wrote on it. "I need to check your ears. where's your equipment?"  
Don stood up and went around to the back of his workstation, searching the shelves until he came across his bag of medical gear. He walked back to April and gave it to her, taking his seat on his stool once more.

Time passed with him facing directly ahead and remaining still while April- who'd been learning doctoral medicine with Don- did the standard ear check. By the time she was done, the ringing had stopped and the pain had dulled, leaving behind a loud silence. He didn't hear what April said to his family, nor did he bother to read what his human friend wrote on the notepad- he already knew.

He was deaf.

...

When Donatello shifted to face the other direction in the bed he hadn't left for three days, he nearly had a heart attack at the sight of Mikey standing there in the darkness, watching him. "Mikey, Jesus," he said, not hearing himself speak, only feeling the vibrations in his throat. Sitting up and crossing his legs, each foot over an opposite thigh, he was handed a piece of paper. He gave it back to his brother. "I don't want to read it."  
The bedside lamp was flicked on, flooding the room with blueish light, illuminating the paper that Don was still holding out and the face of Mikey; he looked terrible, his eyes pink and watery, skin paler than usual, the eyeholes of his mask darkened from tears. Donnie stared in shock, mouth hanging open. "Mikey..." he breathed.  
Michelangelo placed his hand on his brother's and gently pushed the piece of paper back to him. Don lowered his head and read what was on it. In cursive, it read, "its my fault you cant hear anymore. Im sorry"  
"Oh, no, Mikey-" Don looked up to talk to him, but he was gone.  
Getting up, he left his room and looked around, walking to Mikey's room and inside, not seeing him there and leaving for the kitchen. He only found Raph there, making himself a sandwich. "Do you know where Mikey is?" Donnie asked.  
Taking the notepad and pencil hanging from his waist, Raph wrote down, "nah."  
"Let me know if you find him, ok?"  
"whats going on?"  
"He gave me a piece of paper and then left. He looked really depressed, I'm worried he might do something stupid."  
"aint that what he does on a regular basis?"  
"Now is not the time for jokes, Raphael."  
"sorry"  
"Just let me know if you see- I mean, find him."  
"sure"  
Donnie left, making for the bathroom. The toilet room door was closed, so he tried the handle; locked. 'Looks like I'll have to check around and see who's not in there.' He thought.  
He found Leo training with Master Splinter and simultaneously discovered April had already gone home, so that meant that Mikey had to be the one in the toilet room. He fetched Raph from the kitchen and had him knock on the door and ask who was in there. "he aint answering." he wrote.  
"I'm going to kick it down."  
"thats kinda extreme."  
"I have a really bad feeling, ok? Stand back."  
Raph took a few steps away from the toilet door, standing with his hands on his hips. Donnie reared back, and then kicked the door close to the lock, making it fly open and hit the wall with an echoing smack that he didn't hear. There, lying in the middle of the toilet room floor, was Mikey, his left arm cut to all hell and a small pond of blood underneath it. "Mikey!" Donatello yelled, racing inside to stop the bleeding. Don took the band from around his waist and tied Mikey's arm off at the elbow, calling Raph over to help him pick him up and take him to the sofa. Raph was yelling, trying to ask Don what was happening and why he smelled blood, but Donnie couldn't hear him and therefore couldn't answer.  
Leo and Splinter arrived shortly thereafter, when the trio was just leaving the bathroom area. Donnie didn't hear their cries and he honestly didn't want to; the guilt he already felt would've only gotten worse. The pulse he had under his finger was weakening, he needed to work fast. "Get me the first aid kit!" He shouted.  
Leonardo ran to Don's workstation, coming back with the bag of first aid. Donnie ripped it open and dug around for the roll of gauze, yelling at Master Splinter and Leo to hold Mikey's wound closed. When he found the roll, he began wrapping Mikey's forearm as tightly as he could, swatting his brother's and father's hands away so he could work. He wrapped and wrapped and wrapped until he couldn't see the blood anymore, and then sat back, wiping his sweating forehead. "Ok, now we need a blood transfusion." Standing, he set it up with Master Splinter's help, Raph being the first to give, followed by Leo, and then Donnie.

They all fell asleep after that, Master Splinter watching over his sons.

...

Mikey didn't wake up for a few days. Donnie never left his side until then.  
Michelangelo rejoined the world of consciousness on a Friday night; Donnie knew this because the Star Trek reruns were playing on SyFy, and he was watching them with the captions on when he felt a hand touch his upper thigh. He turned, and, when he saw his brother's eyes staring sorrowfully into his, he let out a gasp like he'd been kicked in the gut and encircled him in his arms. Hands ran over his shell and upper arms, then pushed him away. Don relented, sitting back, holding Mikey's hands as the maskless turtle (Donnie had removed it) sat up, resting back against the arm of the sofa. Donatello handed him a piece of paper and a pen so they could talk. "Im sorry" was the first thing Mikey wrote.  
Upon reading it, Donnie shook his head. "Stop saying that. You have no reason to be." He wrote down.  
"Sorry"  
Donnie laughed. Mikey did not.  
Now Don was sorry. "None of this is your fault, Mikey." He said, squeezing the hands in his own.  
Folding in on himself, Mikey started to cry, his deaf brother holding him and rubbing his shell to comfort him, the vibrations of the sobs slowly dying away until they were nonexistent. He moved back, Mikey taking the piece of paper and writing on it. "I love you"  
Donnie smiled, and this time, Mikey did, too. "I know."  
"star wars" Mikey wrote.  
They laughed.


End file.
